I know I said that I would start writing more often, but as soon as I said that I was convinced to enter a scholorship pageant.  So if you can imagine, my time from there turned into getting things for the pageant, choosing hairstyles, shoes, how I would do my makeup and just this past week, rehearshing for the pageant tonight.  I am really nervous because I went into this pageant wanting only to make friends and gain the confidence that so many of the other girls have.  But not only did I gain that confidence and make those friends, but I have been told that I give each of those girls a run for the crown.  Hopefully when I write again I can say that I at least placed if not took the crown.  And I just keep praying to God..."If you let me win the crown...I will be the best I can be.  Please lord let me just do this one thing in my life and then you can take me home...a virgin even if you want!"

     Since my last post my mind has started to wander on what I want to do with my life.  When I first started this blog I wanted to go to Law School.  But now I am not so sure... there are so many other things wthat make me happy, such as, music, photography, art, and business.  I guess I am just sick of college right now, but because I have student loans I can't quit or I have to start repaying the loans.  I just really want to move out of my mom's house and get out on my own, but I can't because with my health I can't hold down a job.  Sure, I worked for three years at Sonic while I was in high school, but my boss knew and understood my health situation.  Now when I try to work at a law firm or in an office somewhere they think that I am gone too much!  Maybe I may have more to do with that than I think!   I have this work idea that because I may be gone alot, I tend to bust my ass for my employer while I am at work.  So when I am gone my employer freaks out becuase everything tends to fall apart.  Could that be a reason whey they don't like me being gone?

     On a happier not my autistic nephew Nathaniel lost his first tooth the other day!  My sister Amanda had such a cow because she thought his tooth may have been knocked out.  But it turns out it probably came out when he was eating an apple.  The one next to it was loose and she tried to pulli out.  I freaked on her and told her not to pull out his tooth.  Of course once she pulled her hand out of his mouth he said, " Ouch momma.....BAD MOMMA!"   It was too cute!  So Mandy and I explained to Nate that when he looses a tooth he needs to tell mommy so she can put it under his pillow and have the toothe fairy come to see him.  That way she'll give him money to buy corn dogs from Sonic.  He loves those stupid corn dogs.  Of course he wanted to see a picture of the tooth fairy so we showed him the tooth fairy on the Neopets site.

     Now Amelia hasn't really done anything big besides deciding she loves to be a baby daredevil and roll down the stairs from the upper house to the lower house.  She did it once wheile I was there and it happened in like slow motion.  I saw her start to roll down the stairs on her side and I heard myself scream!  I tried to run to her, but I was frozen with fear.  I got myself in motion in time to see her crash to the brick floor.  I swear to you I could not breath!  She didn't break anything, she wasn't bleeding, but she did have some sick bruises and scrapes.  The thing is she'll cry for like 20 minutes, cling to mom for the next hour and then start being her adventurous self by an hour and a half.  My sister hates when she does this and watches her for hours to make sure she doesn't have a concussion, but I just laugh thinking ther goes antoher thousand brain cells!  I swear she is going to be a mottocross racer of sky diving instructor.  She really is a brave little girl.  She's trying to walk now and I just know that as soon as she does, watch out mom, she'll be all over the place.

     That's about it for now...I signed up for a pageant on campus so it's taking alot of my time.  Plus, I odn't have internet readily available to me.  I have to use my mom's computer because she won't network mine to her's.

     So life has been kinda sunny on my side of the street.  I am failing all but one class in college this semester and it's the greatest thing since sliced bread!!!!  Mom has been going around telling all her friends that it's because of her that I get all these great grades and I always have.  And it's even cause of her that I will be going to law school.  So I set out to show her, I maintained to fail all of my classes this semester.  It was really hard!  I had to force myself not to do homework and not to study.  But I did it, I failed almost all my classes.  There was one that was just too hard to flunk.  Physical Geology was just too interesting to flunk...I made an A.   What mom doesn't know though is as soon as she decides to move with her new "husband" (fat stinking drunk), I am going to finish my business degree and get out!  I haven't had a proper break in who knows how long!

     I am dating a really great guy named Sean.  He's a car salesman and he is really good at it too.  His only fault is that he has a bad habit of showing off his money to everyone and me thinking it would make me like him more.  That's the only fault I have found so far, but he loves my family, loves my friends, and loves my puppy and those are the greatest assests I could ever want in a guy.  Well I gotta go, Mom's slamming things around again and swearing that she is going to take something away from me and ground me.  I just have one last question, what can you take away from a 22 year old, who for the past four years has bought her own clothing, furniture, car, and play toys?  It's a connundrum!!!

     Wow...it has been so long since I posted last.  Kevin and I finally talked.  I lasted about two hours and he said that the biggest reason he doesn't want to get back together is because of religion.  I see where he's coming from, but sometimes I just think that he is too overbearing on some subjects.  I love him to death, but because he researched my religion and talked to his pastor about it...he's passing judgement and won't listen to me.  He says that he wants our kids to be raised in his faith and he can't get over that fact that there are things in my faith he doesn't believe.  (But the funny part is...we don't believe them either!  He read a document from the 1800's)   Since that conversation he sent me like seven e-mails with religious stuff in it.  It made for interesting reading and my friends have all talked about their beliefs now, but we haven't talked since then.  I think I'll give up on ever getting back together and just concentrate on building up our friendship again.  We used to be super doper friends, but when we started to date our friendship kinda hit the pavement.   

     Life has been hectic for me...my new job is okay.  I work in the testing center of my university and once I have all my daily jobs done I get to do homework or read or play on the computer.  It's really pretty cool once you get used to the really ultra quiet atmosphere, but when everyone's out of the center we make alot of noise like talking and cracking up, just to get some difference into the day.  But you know sometimes I just want to hurt my boss.  Her names Cathy and she tells me to do things and then gets mad when I take her literally.  For example...not even a minute ago I answered her phone (which I did not know was her line) and said Testing Center this is Cassie....silence at the other end...so I repeat what I said....I get this chick that says Mom? and then hangs up.....Well Cathy looks at me all meanly and says "You don't answer my phone.  You let it go to voice mail!"  My first day there she tells me that when the phones ring and Andria or Cathy are busy I should answer the phones!  So I did...and she gets mad at me!!! I swear I think she is going to drive me insane!                                                                                               

     Well I guess I better go...Please pray for my Brother in law....he's with his National Guard unit helping out the hurricane victims in Lousiana and Texas.  He comes home this week to visit his family for the week and then goes back, but in a couple of months their sending him and the rest of his unit to Iraq.   

     So I did it...I wrote my ex and told him that I still loved him and that I realized some things about our relationships that we have had in the past.  He e-mail me back and asked why I still loved him after all this time and all the fights we had.  So I replied and told him that I had been doing some soul searching and even did a personality test.  Now I am just waiting to hear from him.  That's about all that is going on in my life.  I have to go to a funeral Saturday for my friend that died, but I think that I will be okay. 

     So anyone that had any type of good news on Labor Day would have had a better holiday than me.  On Monday we found out that a good friend of our family was involved in an automobile accident.  The van he was driving in New Mexico was literally run over by a semi truck pulling a tractor trailer.  **REALLY!!! The semi went over the van!**  The only consolation we have is that the medics say he was dead on impact.  So we spent all day yesterday trying to find his family and a will in case he was okay when he came out and had a DNR in his will.  We finally found his sister at two am this morning.  Now our biggest fight is finding a copy of his will that has been signed and notorized, otherwise his computer copy that he just signed won't count as a holographic will and he will have died intestate.  So we have this huge battle ahead of us for his family because they are all out of state and the testamentary procedure will take place here.

     But then I have an even bigger dilema than that!  For the past couple of days I have been thinking about my ex Kevin.  I had a dream about him the other night and I guess that's what made me start thinking about him.  But now when I close my eyes I have memories of good times we had together playing like a giant movie in my head.  I hate it because it makes me miss him and want to talk with him and be with him.  I have this really great guy named Sean who wants to be with me and I just keep putting him off because I can't get over Kevin and I don't want to hurt Sean by going out with him and then breaking his heart when I don't feel the same way about him.  I dream that Kevin and I will get back together!  It's stupid I know but I just can't see myself with anyone but Kevin.  I should have my head examined is what I should do.  I just remember the last day we were together and when he was kissing me it was like a sappy love movie.  I see his face above me with this glow around his head from where the sun was shining on his blonde hair.  I couldn't sleep last night cause everytime I closed my eyes thats what I saw!!!  And when I did fall asleep I woke up later crying after a dream because I knew it wasn't real.  I just don't know what to do!!!  My friends say to go out with other guys and in time I will forget him, but I don't want to go out with these other guys because I don't want to hurt them because I am still in love with Kev.  Like Sean...I would almost say he loves me...it's not quite there but it's really intense like...and I don't want to hurt him because he's a great friend and I am still stuck on Kevin.  And I know if I went out with Sean he would see it as I am ready to move on and make my life with someone else, and I am not.  My sister flipped Saturday when I  told her that I was thinking of Kevin again.  She said that I shouldn't even be giving him a second thought because of the way he treated me and that things he said, but with hind sight (which is always 20/20) I realize that we both had some things that we weren't willing to give on...(My deal with him always shopping at expensive stores, and his deal with me not dressing professional casual all the time.)  I even think that part of it could be because I pushed too hard for him to be okay after his mothers death.  Even though the rest of his family was starting to function on a daily basis, he just wasn't there yet, and I expected him to be.  I just wish that now in my time of need...he was here, like I was for him in his time of need.  But I know that that will never happen...

     First of all let me just say how profoundly saddened I am by the events in New Orleans.  I have several really close friends that live in New Orleans itself and I still haven't heard from them.  I can only pray that they are okay and were not in the storm itself.  To think that in such a time as this all people could be thinking about is robbing and looting and shooting each other just makes me sick!    I physically cannot stand what this country is coming to and makes me think twice about possibly bringing a child into this world.

     Second, I just wanted to brag alittle about a very special little boy in my life.  My nephew Nathaniel is 5 years old this year and just started kindergarten last week.  See this is a very special time for my family as Nate is autistic and we thought that he wouldn't be able to go to public school.  Let me just tell you that little kid loves his class!!!  I went to pick him up today with my sister and of course he was ecstatic to see us, but before he left class he just had to hug each and every one of his teachers good-bye.  Then he just had to say good-bye to his friends in his class.  Now keep in mind that his speech is very slurred and he doesn't vocalize well, so to hear him talking and laughing and giggling with his classmates was so incredible that I still am awed by it.  I have two nieces and two nephews.  (one is a step nephew)  And I have to say Nate is my favorite...not because he's special or because I have been a big part of his life since the day he was born, but because that little boy just seems to have his Aunt KiKi wrapped around his little pinky.   I know it's bad to spoil autistic children, but I can't seem to help it.  Whenever I can I always rent him new movies and take him to McDonald's.  Get him new shoes or an outfit.    His parents aren't the wealthiest people, but I do the same for his sister, it just seems like the reason I spend that money is for him and then I just do the same for his sister... Is that bad???  Don't get me wrong I love Amelia and she is like my angel, but Nate is the reason for my season.  (Stupid I know but it's how I feel)  (Anyone wish it was Christmas?) 

     Oh, well I guess I better go....by the way....people please DONATE BLOOD....DONATE CANNED FOODS AND OLD BLANKETS, CLOTHING, BEDDING, OTHER THINGS THAT COULD MAKE A PERSON'S LIFE EASIER.  Many people in New Orleans lost their entire households, so please if you can't afford to give money, give things you don't need like extra blankets. 

(This has been a public service announcement by the Cassie Davis corporation)

This is a paper topic discussion I had to write for US History I.  It's about the USA PATRIOT Act that went through after September 11th.  If you don't understand my paper all that good, but it seems interesting I encourage you to go look up the act for yourself.  The only way to combat ignorance is through research!   

 

I guess we should first start with the Foreign Intelligence Surveillance Act.   It was first passed in 1978 after Watergate to produce legal guidelinges for federal investigators.  You had to be suspected of crmes against the government (primarily espionage and international terrorism.)
     After the September 11th attacks, the CIA and FBI were blamed for not knowing and not investigation, eventhough the FISA did not allw the CIA or FBI to investigate because the definition of terrorism stated in the FISA was too narrow.  According to Wikipedia, In order to investigate the terrorists the investigators had to prove that the terrorsts were receiving aid from a foreighn country.  Al Qaeda, the organization that planned and funded the attacks, is not a country and therefore does not fall under the strict guidelines if terrorism.  It was then that the USA PATRIOT Act violates the Bill of Rights.  Under this act the new definition of terrorism is too broad.  It can include common dissidents involved or illegal demonstrations, Some people even worry that demonstrators that demonstrate against the government or its policy could theoretically be called terrorists.
     Next we move on to Sneak-and-Peek Searches that have provisions in the USA PATRIOT Act.  Rule 41 of the Federal Rules of Criminal Procedure state that immediate notification of seized items be provided, among other things.  But with Provision 213 of the USA PATRIOT Act Rule 41 is blown out of the water!  Provision 213 authorizes "surreptitious search warrants and seizures upon a showing of reasonable necessity."  In other words the government or their lackeys (so we shall call them) can enter your home WITH a search warrant and take what they believe is evidence and not give you notice.  And another thing they may have to have that search warrant, but because of a special court called the Foreign Intelligence Surveillance Court (FISC) they do not have to be public record!  They don't have to tell us about it!  They don't have to tell you about the search either!  Back that up....they do but not necessarily before they do the search.
     In several landmark decisions form courts, they have struck down certain sections of the Act (805, 505) for being vague and unconstitutional.  They have been found to violate our 1st, 4th, and 5th amendment rights.
     So all in all to tie it up does the USA PATRIOT Act violate the Bill of Rights?  Well if you call free speech, freedom of the press, human rights and the invasion of privacy our rights entitled from the Bill of Rights, than yea, it does.  But that's just my opinion...go make yours.

So it's the start of Sumer II term at my college and I registered for classes friday.  I am taking a 8 am class on Legal Environments of Business and I am not sure how that is going to work.  Today I sprang up out of bed, but I don't know if I can keep doing that.  Plus, I have to take my dog for walks in the morning so it can go to the bathroom and I really didn't have time to let him do his stuff except for pee.  At least this class will be easy because the teacher isn't making us do homework and I have to be gone a couple of Fridays and we have exams on Friday's so I am making arrangements to do the exams on Thursday.

We moved to a new apartment last week.  I really hate it.  We moved from a five bedroom, three bath, two story house to a two bedroom, one and a half bath, upstairs apartment.  It sucks!!!  It's about as big as my upstairs living room and kitchen was. My room is right off the highway so I hear cars and trucks and semi's going by all night long.  I can't believe what my mother was thinking.  The only good thing to come out of that apartment was I am like a minute from the college and I am getting my cable and internet back!!!  So now I can start posting like a normal person again.

I am going out of town next weekend.  I get to go to Chicago for a Pillar Youth Trip.  It's where all the older youth from my youth group gets together and has a grown up youth outing.  I'm sorry but if a grown up youth outing calls for going to a restaurant where I am going to pay $15 for a plate of lasagna alone...I would rather sit there and drink water and walk two blocks down the road and eat at a McDonald's.  Being an adult means budgeting your money, not blowing it on expensive dining that can be remedied by a trip to your local grocery store.   

My Summer I term ended Friday.  I was taking a Lit class that extends into Summer II, but I had a Spanish class that ended Friday.  Well while moving I was unable to check my Spanish WebCT (its where we take the class on-line) and so I didn't know that she had made everyone come in on a friday and take the final!  So now I missed the final and I can't get my teacher to respond and let me know if she'll let me make it up!!! What's a girl to do???!!!!  If I don't pass this class I either don't get to take the follow up class in the fall or I have to pay about $75 to clep out of the course.  Which means my meager paycheck from the library goes back to the college and I was essentially working for FREE!!!!  God I hate how the system works sometimes!    So of course my week hasn't started out the best, but there is a ray of sunshine at the end of the tunnel!!!....I should be getting my remaining funds from my student loan at the end of the week.  It's about a thousand dollars....any one want to go out to eat?   

Well I guess I better go.....doing a project for a librarian and I want to finish before I have to go home.  If there's anything to write about I will try to post later.

You Know You're From Arkansas When...

"Vacation" means goin' through Harrison on the way to Branson. Down South, to you, means Louisiana. You have no problem spelling or pronouncin' Ouachita or Possum Grape. You know what Toad Suck and Booger Holler are. Your idea of a really great tenderloin is when the meat is twice as big as the bun and comes with cole slaw on top. You say catty-wampus and tumped over. You know the difference between a deer dog, a duck dog and a coon dog by the way they bark. Pulaski County is considered a foreign or exotic place. You consider being a "Beef Queen" an honor. You faithfully drink Pepsi, Mt. Dew, or Dr. Pepper everyday of your life. You know what a "cow drop" is. You have your own secret bbq sauce. You know how to snipe hunt. You or your neighbors have more hunting dogs than you have family members. You visit the Arkansas State Fair mainly to see your neighbor's prize chicken. You've been invited to or had a bunkin' party. You abhor homosexuality, but love "Queer Eye for the Straight Guy." You'd rather be No. 1 in football than No. 1 in education. You think that recycling means riding your bike down the same old path. You think orange barrels are really part of the interstate system. When the forecast calls for an inch of snow, you run out with all the other crazies to stand in line for three hours to buy a month's worth of groceries. You drink sweet iced tea out of a sports bottle. Your traditional Thanksgiving dinner is a deep-fried turkey. You call a shopping cart a buggy. You see "No Hunting" signs are riddled with bullet holes. You think "Animal House" is the training film for incoming athletes at the University of Arkansas The three food groups are Velveeta, pork rinds and a six-pack. Everyone you think of as a "liberal" is either Methodist or Catholic. You think that Bill Clinton is a lyin', cheatin' sumbitch, but you'd still vote for him again in a heartbeat because he's OUR lyin' cheatin' sumbitch. You've "offered" someone an "ass-whoopin'. " ( When you give directions they include "over yonder," "down the road a piece," and "right near." You're not commitment-phobic: you love God, guns and football. You'd rather have a Budweiser beer museum than a presidential library. You think pinto beans are nekkid without hamhocks, cornbread and buttermilk. Sweet milk and torn up biscuits in a glass is your favorite dessert. You think bagels are nothing but a cruel doughnut joke invented by some Yankee! You eat at Senor Tequila's for atmosphere and Lolita's Tex-Mex for salsa. You say, "I voted for Clinton to get him out of the state." You own three cars and one license plate. You actually get these jokes and pass them on to other friends from Arkansas.

In 1983 (the year you were born)

Ronald Reagan is president of the US Sally Ride becomes the first American woman to travel in space Marines are killed when a TNT laden suicide terrorists blows up Marine headquarters at Beirut International Airport US Marines and Rangers invade the island of Grenada and evacuate hundreds of US citizens The Soviets shoot down Korean Airlines flight 007 The Internet Domain Name System was invented by Paul Mockapetris Ronald Wilson Reagan signs a bill creating Martin Luther King Day Baltimore Orioles win the World Series Washington Redskins win Superbowl XVII New York Islanders win the Stanley Cup Return of the Jedi is the top grossing film "Every Breath You Take" by The Police spends the most time at the top of US charts The A-Team and Webster premiere